“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.”
~ Coco Chanel
I am in love with everything magic. I have been since I was a little girl. But I forgot it for a while.
When I was in coaching college we had to do a “skill practice” every day assigned to us by the class, after much discussion about what they wanted to know the most. Mine was to talk more about myself because people said they didn’t really know me. On the third day when my turn came around I said that the night before I had found out that a friend betrayed my confidence and I wanted to put a hex on her house.
Cue the backlash. One student said I am not comfortable with that kind of talk. The instructor said that I shouldn’t speak about hexing or magic because it wasn’t mainstream and made people uneasy. And so on and so on. Most people had an opinion about what I said while conveniently forgetting that they had asked to get to know the real me. No one asked me can you do that? Would you do that? What does that mean? They heard “hex” got scared and attacked.
Their advice was be professional. Be likeable. Find a niche but still appeal to everyone. I believed it and when I first started my business I kept a huge part of myself hidden.
That moment convinced me no one would hire me if I talked about magic, or wildness or rebellion. If I spoke out about social injustice and women’s empowerment. If I chatted incessantly about channeling muses, being wild and free, or how much I adore mystical writing and imagery.
My tender spots live in belonging and inclusion, followed closely by envy and fear of missing out. What if no one liked me? Or I was asked to defend my beliefs? What if I seemed weird and not normal and didn’t fit in? EEEP!
Enter instant anxiety. Thinking THIS is what success looks like? Dumbing down. Being perfect. Seeming normal. Me? The rebel rule breaker who really wanted to be seen? I thought “this is not going to be easy.” It wasn’t and it got me nowhere.
When I decided to really let my freak flag fly was when I found my people. I found business and life mentors who un-programmed all that college bullshit and taught me that we are not designed for everyone to like us. We don’t have to defend our choices unless we FEEL like it. And there is no “normal.”
Finally I could breathe. Anxiety lifted. Freedom restored. Wildness engaged. Magic.
Letting it all go and really showing up as we are is what draws people to us. I can guarantee you that all that stuff you think is unlikeable is really what people like MOST about you. These are the things that connect us. The humour, the values, the quirks and the weirdness, the lusts and desires and always our unique brand of magic.
Being yourself is the most amazing thing you can offer this world. You, in all of your too-much, weird, different, you-ness. Show everyone who you are. Gather your kindred spirits and rave on with your wild heart.
Believe in the magic you have. It is my wish for you.
Stay Gold Wild Ones.
Thanks for hanging out with me.