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Fumbling Toward Ecstasy

“…I want to unfold. I don’t want to stay folded anywhere,
because where I am folded, there I am a lie.”

~ Rainer Maria Rilke

Things to do when you have writer’s block.

~ Watch many episodes of Californication. Have naughty dreams about Hank Moody. Channel him and try to write. Write stories about sex love n rock n roll. Don’t send them.

~ Watch both seasons of Vikings again. Have wild, sexy dreams about Ragnar and Rollo. Threaten the life of That Guy if he talks about shaving his beard. Write stories about ancient ways and the power of believing in something. Don’t send them.

~ Take the pressure off yourself about writing and dream about the Coven of the Esoteric Muse brick and mortar store. Log onto skype with Tina and write an entire outline of what it will look like and create a visually stunning secret pinterest board to go along with it. Realize it’s ok that you can no longer write because you have exquisite taste and an eye for business branding.

~ Revisit your fictional series about two witches named Linda and Paula. Write complete biographies about every character including wardrobe, hairstyle, middle names and lineage. Decide who will be in the first book, who will be recurring, who will be introduced in the complete series and post back stories about them on Tina’s wall. Congratulate yourself on your amazing sense of humour, attention to detail, rain man like memory and be grateful for your wicked imagination because you have writer’s block and can’t write.

~ Pull everything out of your closets and give away or throw out over 50% of it. Decide you should focus more energy on selling vintage. Write an entire business plan for your vintage and create another secret board to go along with it. Be grateful you have that knowledge to fall back on.

~ Hang out with Nigel and marvel at his life. Write a hysterical outline for a new course called “How To Channel Your Inner Cat”. Text Skittle constantly as Nigel and wonder about a book called “Texts from Skittle and Nigel.” Realize that even in the midst of severe writer’s block you are still funny and so is Shannon, or as Skittle describes her, my boring, uncool, all about the rules mom. Be glad you got that going for you.

~ Pin like it’s your job. Go through your entire board to the very beginning and marvel at your evolution and how each stage lines up with your becoming. Write a new one on one offering about how the more you allow yourself to be your most wild and magical self, the more at home you will feel. Don’t post it on your website.

~ Wander the streets and sit under cherry trees. Nap lots. Forget to wash your hair. Sell tons at the vintage store. Co-write and facilitate a 28 day course on body and soul magic and love the hell out of your people. Outline the next course on mind magic but don’t write it cause you have writer’s block.

~ Decide that a makeover is necessary when you finally do wash your hair. Gather all your hair up to see what it would look like short. Then remember you have the hair of a mermaid and report to That Guy that you have temporarily lost your mojo and he should hide the scissors. Be grateful for mermaid hair cause you can’t write.

~ Re-read everything KikiMisty, Hannah, Isabel, Mindy, Tisha and Janne ever wrote. Feel like your soul has been whispered to. Wonder if they have cameras trained on your living room or have hired detectives to follow you because, damn. Believe that kindred spirits walk this world with you. Weep, laugh and squirm in solidarity over their words and be grateful THEY write all the time because the world needs to hear what they have to say.

~ Give it up and write a love letter to your wild ones about not writing. Unfold. Hope for the best. Realize you are fumbling toward ecstasy and writer’s block is bullshit. Send that one.

Stay gold Wild Ones.
Thanks for hanging out with me.



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