“Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changin’ ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?”
~ Stevie Nicks, Landslide
My bio on my About page starts off with this line:
“The only child of Stevie Nicks + Han Solo, I am gutsy, unconventional and fumbling towards ecstasy.”
That pretty much sums me up.
For my 49th birthday in September my #girlgang got together and gave me tickets to see Stevie on Dec 9th. I was speechless at first, and then promptly burst into tears and cried the ugly cry.
It took three months for me to decide what to wear to her concert. I have been channeling her for so long I was having trouble pulling the right outfit from a Stevie inspired wardrobe. I actually considered writing her tour manager to see if they could arrange it so *I* had time to change between songs.
It started to snow really hard that day so that was an annoying consideration, but I ended up in skinny black jeans, pointed toe suede boots, a black silk top, a cropped velvet kimono, my silver rock n roll necklace, and the most outrageous white faux fur coat there ever was. I was so ME that night.
Fitting because that was the night I got to meet the woman who helped me become me.
Metaphorically of course.
If I had literally met Stevie I would spontaneously combust and would not be here writing this letter.
I love her that much.
Today, May 26 2017, is her 69th birthday and I want to tell you why she is a Hall of Fame Wild Muse.
The first memory I have of her I was 10 years old. Sitting on the floor in our family room watching tv. My dad always had control of the remote and he flipped past a show and there was Stevie.
It was 1977 and Rumours had just come out so I had heard Fleetwood Mac on the radio but had never SEEN her. He stopped to watch it and I was hooked. Smitten. DONE.
There she was. All magic and witchy. Blond hair curling in the weirdest way. And that voice……
Holy fuck. Her voice. It reaches a place inside of me that always seems empty and her words never fail to fill me up.
I wanted to be her so badly.
I wanted to be famous.
I wanted to be able to sing.
I wanted to have powerful love affairs and I wanted to write about them.
I wanted to wear fringe.
I wanted to wear all black.
I wanted to be draped in velvet.
I wanted to get high and live to tell about it.
I wanted to be a witch.
I wanted to be free.
Stevie lives in me.
As most wild muses do.
She lives in a place that there are no words for.
A place of magic and wonder and going your own way that are things that I will always pay attention to in my life.
When she was on stage that snowy night in December I was in awe.
I was in tears.
I was with 3 of my best friends.
I was in an altered state in my velvet and suede and fur, wrapped in her voice.
It was fucking MAGIC.
I remember her leaving the stage and me clutching Niki’s arm and asking “is she changing”? And then jumping up and yelling because she came out in a shawl and told a story about it and why she wears them.
I know I listened to her stories but I was in another dimension and 6 months later it has yet to surface. Actually it took 6 months to even write about that show at all.
Happy Birthday Stevie.
I WILL love you forever and if you want to adopt me I am 100% open to that.
You remind me that I am made of magic and I can make my own rules.
You remind me that clothes can tell your story.
You remind me that it is never too late to do what I want to do.
You remind me that I can be that rock n roll woman I always wanted to be.
“There is a song by Buffalo Springfield called ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll Woman,’ and the first time I heard it, I was like, That’s me. That’s who I’m going to be. I remember walking through a room, going, ‘Do you know who I am?’ It’s like, the Red Sea is definitely going to part here. My mom used to always say, ‘You paint the picture and it will happen.’ I believe that if you close your eyes and see yourself up on that stage, being bigger than life, you become that person with that big, really good attitude. You’re gonna be that rock ‘n’ roll woman that’s gonna make people happy and take them out of their miserable lives for two hours . . . and they’re going to want your music. And then, girls . . . at 66 years old, you can be starting a year-and-a-half tour that sold out its U.S. dates — in the first week.” ~ Stevie Nicks
I hope to see you in Kentucky with Misty at the end of September. Right after I turn 50. I will pack my shawls…
Sisters of the moon forever, and forever my hall of fame Wild Muse.
Stay gold wild ones.
Thanks for hanging out with me.