10

. Patreon thoughts. Thank you Monica. x

. I miss yard sales and flea markets.

. Lola spent the entire day sleeping under her cat tree on her back with curl paws. her cute might kill me.

. thinking about some things a friend said on a comment thread about other people who comment and how she called them “joiners” and said they “jumped on” and I hate that because if implies that the people I am in community with are not capable of forming their own opinions and it’s just rude to imply that when people are genuinely asking for clarification on a statement.

. find your people and the spaces that help you keep it together so you have capacity for the revolution - FBT

. the sheer luxury of grocery delivery.

. I bought kale but only for smoothies cause the texture of it in a salad is gross. I stand by that.

. all the men who want a freak in bed who are clutching their pearls over WAP. spare me

. “ choose your favourite spade and dig a small, deep hole, located deep in the forest or a desolate area of the desert or tundra. bury your cell phone and then find a hobby.” ~ Nick Offerman, Paddle Your Own Canoe - from the chapter work hard, work dirty.

9

. park sitting

. born in the summer of love 1967. when is my next one?

. earnest ice cream. vegan chocolate

. it’s gonna take 2 pots of coffee today. actual caf

. so many plans

. I need to rig up a clothesline or replace my air dryer that broke

. Ikea stockholm 2017 was the best collection

. paid the exchange rate and was charged an extra 26 bucks in custom fees. the post office guy said they are seeing way more charges than they used to

. has the industry killed the words brave, inspiring, and courageous for people who are living their lives in all that is real and complex? need to noodle this

8

. I watched a documentary on Stevie Nicks and I am Stevie blond. That transformation continues…

. 3 different neighbours are having parties like covid never happened and I want to go ballistic.

. AM radio - there are memories stored in these stations

. my fern is struggling. what is it with me and ferns?

. mellifluous

. “how wild it was, to let it be.” ~ Cheryl Strayed, Wild

. eyeshadows in all the 70’s colours.

. pomegranate, fern, 8 point star, wolfs, maybe a snake. Full Bush

. reels on IG. How?

7

. thinking about the mama orca who carried her dead calf for days and how I was obsessed with her grief and now she is pregnant again and I so badly want her baby to thrive.

. should I make Leonard a squirrel couch?

. wrapped up some surprises to send in the mail today. I need to figure out how to get people who want it on a list with random get to know you questions and addresses.

. all the tags this week from people who did adorn sessions is giving me life and I needed that. this work is deep and it lingers.

. the wolf and the witch are both in the mountains and i want to move into their photos.

. “even if you are a small forest surviving off of moon alone. your light is extraordinary.” ~ reminder, Nayyirah Waheed

. I am annoyed by man caves. I was looking online for vintage bar ware (very 70's and very Megan Draper) and I wanted to see what stuff was going for. were. MOST of the marketing was for man caves. like women don't drink or have home bars? I love an interesting bar cart. are cocktails for men only and the rest of us are wine moms? what the fuck.

. my brother turns 54 today and i am glad he is here and even when we don’t see eye to eye there is deep love there.

. fresh raspberries

6

. In Japanese culture, cherry blossoms represent the fragility and beauty of life and they always remind me of my S.O. who I saw today for the first time in 7 years and we picked up right where we left off. it felt like I just saw her yesterday.

. every time i catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror I am startled by the blond.

. “life finds a way.” - Jeff Goldblum, Jurassic Park.

. bought Jenny Jinya’s comic book “Loving Reaper” and it arrived today I adore it. It includes the stories Black Cats and Good Boy and makes me cry but her messages are so important to challenge these stereotypes.

. do you gain more followers if you post nudes? while i was curating my insta feed to show aging women I was looking at all these 30 something women I followed and was dying to work with at this time last year and receive their patreon rewards and sign up with and then had muted at some point because of whatever reason. (how things change! never ceases to surprise me) but I noticed that there is something about posting nudes that gains social capital and followers. that if you don't fit the european standard of beauty - in body only  - and dare to post a pic of you getting out of the bath that your likes will increase tenfold and the comment thread will be huge but only if you are white and I am baffled by my feelings around this. Is it brave? It is edgy? none of them got deleted. it's just comment after comment and their courses fill up and books get sold and I don't do nudes. not even to guys I am fucking. and it’s not cause I am uncomfortable nude or hate my body its because there are some things that I want to save for me and I don’t know if that makes sense or not. so will I remain small in the wide ocean of women who do this work ? I talk about diet culture and fatphobia and how it fucks us up. is that landing without visuals? I haven't quite got a grasp on what I am feeling but there is something there - besides the white women celebrated vs black women deleted. 

. seasons

. monsoon rained allllll day.

. its natural that Plant Parenthood will go with The Full Bush Tour. obvs

. searching for the perfect imagery. i love this part.

5

. I remembered sitting there for 6 hours that in the early 80’s I worked Saturday’s at a hair salon called Hair 2000 and there was a stylist named Dagmar and I was obsessed with her. she had this mad 80’s punkish new wave style and I wanted to be her.

. he said it is killing both of us and he needs to look at the big picture.

. it makes me really uncomfortable to see people sitting in restaurants like covid isn’t a thing.

. I am like the FBI with that attic suite across the lane. I have a literal file on it. and a secret pinterest board.

. so many secret messages today. they come at me fast and furious sometimes and sometimes they linger in the air floating around me. they are my oracle and live in everything and everywhere for me. they root in between my ribcage and the inhale and exhale waiting for me to decipher them. hovering. breathing in an out with me. patiently in wait. I love them.

. tomorrow is breakfast at tiffany’s and I can’t wait

. the shimmer of pink skies that is only at this time of year.

. i might add sleep to my love languages.

. “You have belonged better in your own arms than in anyone else’s. Remember you are the softest love you will ever have.” ~ Belonging, Nikita Gill

4

. she died on election night at 7:05 pm 5 years ago and I wonder what she would say and what my dad would say about the shit show of politics all over the world because they were interested and informed and it was always a topic of conversation.

. woke up at 5 am and looked outside and the moon was blood orange and peeking at me over the trees. It was stunning and I felt seen.

. big little lies

. I need a personal chef.

. this heat is healing me. Even with the meno symptoms I am made for this heat.

. excited for tomorrow

. Full Bush september to august. and so it is.

. @roblowe did a 6 minute skin care video on his IG and I was mesmerized. He is a forever crush since the Outsiders (stay gold Ponyboy) and my mom fell in love with him on West Wing.

. “out of backyard posies permitted to fringe the proud hanky lawn her imagination hummed and made honey, occasionally exploding in mad queen swarms. I am her only novel. The plot is melodramatic.” My Mother’s Novel - from Marge Piercy, the Moon is Always Female

3

. i was watching a new queer eye inspired wedding show on netflix last night and there was a baby in a white suit with a bowtie and he was so fucking cute I wanted to eat him and Carly said that would give me eternal life. we need a podcast.

. “when the cherries turn black moon.” - From Erin’s monthly list of full moon names. oooh how that one got me.

. Chrissy Teigen showed her underboob scars from her breast surgery and I cried. I have those same scars and I didn’t know how badly I needed to see them on someone else - after all the complications from that surgery and that gaslighting prick of a doctor - until I saw hers. then i immediately texted the photo to the WitchesofEaVa with the crying emoji.

. The fact that very few know about him doesn't mean he isn't gone.

. i wish i had a time machine

. I know that tears are cathartic and I wonder about the complex mystery of them. How they can hold so much. Memory and love and missing and anger and frustration and happiness and hope and longing and delight. I will never apologize for being a crier because those tears are the muchness of me that needs a place to go. (from a what do you know prompt of one of Isabel’s writing courses. I revisit them all the time)

. a just rescued black cat gave birth to 10 black kittens and I am in love with this mama and so happy she did not have to give birth in this heat and try to protect all those babies. Asking again is it time for me to foster kittens? I would love her and her 10 littles.

. He said once I am too domesticated to live in the jungle in Mexico and he is dead fucking wrong because I am feral. As long as there is wifi.

. I want a life that feels like summer all year long.

2

. plant parenthood

. truth talks with Niki fill my soul

. i miss coffee. Decaf isn’t cutting it.

. bbq steak and salad

. generic question and she jumped to a conclusion. check your conscience JG cause there is a reason you gave that response.

. ban is over

. still obsessing over the attic suite across the lane. I have it decorated in my mind. will i find more of me there?

. “let it hurt until it can’t hurt anymore.” ~ Liam Ryan

. i wanted to steal a 6 week old slightly fluffy orange kitten today

1

. sugar cinnamon on squirrel bread

. Big Bang Theory and remembering my mom’s laughter

. a twitter thread asked about good things that came out of covid lockdown and it was all dogs and cats and family and babies and gardens and graduations and falling in love and I really needed that. I can be so cynical and side eyeing everything but I do melt over a feel good story. balance.

. talking aunts and magic with my boo

. saw a vintage table top light up vanity mirror with 3 “mood” settings on a vintage site I follow and I had one in the 70’s. It was everything. I felt like such a grown up .

. “take a minute to think about all the people that loved us into being.” ~ Mr. Rogers

. watermelon

. cannot believe it is already August.

. banned