. why do i forget when everything hurts and my lymph nodes are aching that i haven’t been drinking my water? it’s such basic fucking self care and never fails to change almost EVERYTHING for me.
. even though i know for sure i need to know for sure
. back to old school pro/con list
. pro: house to myself all the time, house clean all the time, more space because only my limited stuff, maybe start dating again after sigourney is gone, more vintage slips and tap pants and the embodiment practices of secret single behaviour, no resentment over being the only one to manage/clean this house
. more pros: music on that can’t be cause he sleeps all day weekends, will the distance tell us for sure, feminine it up in here, less stress means i eat better, don’t anxiety shop, sleep better
. cons: lola adores him, I adore him but more so without the resentment, he is funny, we are in a pandemic and he is part of my bubble, he pays half the rent, i will have to pay all of it plus all hydro and all of her stuff which he occasionally helps out on, who will remove spiders
. more cons: he is in a good place and this will fuck him up, i fucked up Perry by moving and look how that turned out, loneliness but I already feel lonely
. fuck
. i am on strike cause i hate being responsible for every fucking thing but that just means it takes longer to do it
. i spent so much time poor that it scares me to be that poor again in this fucking expensive city
.